No chance
by Tirainy
Summary: Sonic has fallen in love with Shadow. He knows there is no chance that Shadow will ever return his feelings. And so he does everything in his power to forget about those feelings. Even going as far as inviting Amy on a date. But even that doesn't stop his mind from throwing what-if scenarios at him. [one-sided Sonadow]
1. Sweet Dreams

**No Chance**

Sonic has fallen in love with Shadow. He knows there is no chance that Shadow will ever return his feelings and so he does everything in his power to forget about those feelings—even going as far as inviting Amy on a date. But even that doesn't stop his mind from throwing what-if scenarios at him...

 **TAGs:** Wordcount: Over 10.000, Dreams, Day Dreaming, Angst, Unrequited feelings

 ** **Disclaimer:**** _ **I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog or any related characters.**_

 _ **[Last Edited: 2018-09-14]**_

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Sweet Dreams**

It was long past midnight but sleep still refused to claim Sonic's tired mind. He lay motionlessly on his bed, curled into himself, with one lone runaway tear sliding down his cheek and the aching feeling in his chest still as strong as when he had lain down so many hours ago.

His whole body felt sore from lying in the same position for such a long time, but the hero couldn't find the strength or will to roll over. It was laughable. He, Sonic the Hedgehog, who hadn't been broken even when faced with almost hopeless situations and nearly undefeatable foes, had been broken by a few simple _words_.

 _"Annoying imbecile!"_

 _"Bothersome idiot!"_

 _"Blue nuisance!"_

Even though it was probably the thousand time today that Sonic recalled that fight today, Shadow's insults still painfully dug into his heart. The two of them had always fought, had called each other horrible names and never actually said a single nice thing to each other. That was how it had _always_ been. He used to just shrug it off like if it was nothing. But now he found himself unable to...

Why?! Just why did he have to fall in love with Shadow out of all people?!

W-why...?

Shadow would never love him back. Doctor Eggman was more likely to give up his world-conquering tendencies than Shadow even taking the _tiniest_ bit of liking in him; that one was very much obvious after all this time of knowing the ebony agent.

There was just no chance for him...

Sighing exhaustedly, Sonic closed his heavy eyes. Hoping it would grant him at least a bit of emotional release, he continued to silently cry into the night until his body finally granted him the sweet embrace of unconsciousness.

-O-

 _A pleasant shiver ran through Sonic's body as his left ear was gently caressed, the warm hand gingerly rubbing over the blue appendage in an almost lazy fashion. Sonic found himself melting into the sensation and when the hand moved its ministrations lower to softly scratch behind his ear, he very much **purred** at the attention._

 _Slowly, Sonic opened his eyes to see who was the owner of this artful touch and he was met with the sight of striped black fur and intense red eyes._

 _Shadow._

 _For some reason, Sonic didn't question why Shadow was in his bedroom or how the agent had even gotten here. The only thing that mattered was that Shadow was there and all else was unimportant._

 _There was a small smile on the other's face, however, it melted into a frown almost right after and the gloved hand that had been caressing Sonic's ear moved to gently stroke the peach cheek of the blue hero. "You've been crying..." Shadow noted._

 _"I-I have..." Sonic admitted, averting his gaze from the dark hedgehog in shame. He could hear Shadow sigh tiredly before the agent was leaning down and a soft kiss was being pressed to his forehead._

 _Somehow Sonic didn't question even this strange gesture._

 _"I'm sorry about calling you those names," Shadow murmured sincerely. Surprised, Sonic turned his gaze back to his dark rival, his surprise intensifying when he saw the guilty expression on Shadow's face and the agent's slumped posture. "Work has been quite stressful these past few weeks..."_

 _"It's alright, Shads, don't beat yourself over it," Sonic replied, smiling reassuringly at the dark hedgehog as he could see the other was clearly sorry._

 _Shadow stared at him for a while and the he shook his head, chuckling. Sonic could feel something warm spread inside his chest at hearing Shadow's laugh. "I'll never understand how can you so easily forgive people," Shadow confessed, smiling warmly again. "I think I should make it up to you somehow."_

 _"What do you have in mind?" Sonic asked, curiosity slipping into his voice._

 _"Well, it would only be fair that for making you feel bad, I should now make you feel good instead, wouldn't it?" Shadow mused aloud, lips pulling into a smirk as he leaned so close to Sonic that the hero could feel the other's warm breath on his face. Sonic could feel how his heart picked up its pace, his eyes widening in anticipation._

 _Then Shadow connected their lips._

 _Sonic felt a warm feeling spreading through his whole body, his eyes closing instinctively as his arms wrapped around the dark hedgehog to bring him closer to their owner. Their lips seemed to mesh together like two pieces of puzzle and Sonic found himself getting lost in the kiss. It was hot, overwhelming, wonderful and mostly of all— **perfect**._

 _However, even thought it was all Sonic wanted at the moment, the need to breath made itself known and so he reluctantly pulled away from Shadow to fill his lungs with the necessary oxygen. But just a few moments later he found himself being kissed again, even more passionately than before. One of Shadow's arms sneaked around his waist and pulled, pressing the two hedgehogs closer—_

Sonic blinked awake, the sudden absence of Shadow leaving him confused.

 _What...?_ Where is Shadow? It took the blue hero a moment to realize that he was all alone in his room and that everything that had just happened was just...

 _A dream._ Sonic's mood immediately dropped at this finding, a sad look replacing his smile. _Just a dream..._

Sonic sighed as he looked outside through the window, which he hadn't bothered to cover with curtains the previous night. The sun was already high in the sky.

 _I should get up._ Reluctantly, Sonic got up and headed for the bathroom. Once there he looked himself over in the bathroom mirror, noting he looked absolutely horrible.

Well, that wasn't really unexpected considering he'd spend the whole night crying...

The blue hero sighed as he undressed himself and then climbed into the shower, hoping the embrace of warm water would make him forget his aching heart at least for a moment.

-O-

Tails checked the kitchen clock for what seemed to be the thousand time today. It was already past ten and Sonic was still in the bed.

Sighing, the young inventor continued to make pancakes, his mind wandering back to his friend. Sonic had been acting quite strange for the last few weeks; he didn't smile as often as he used to and he he had been unusually quiet yesterday.

That was also why Tails was preparing pancakes now and why he had also prepared a load of chili-dogs before that—those two foods were Sonic's favorites and he hoped it would improve Sonic's mood at least a little bit.

"Hey! Morning, buddy!"

"Oh! Good morning, Sonic!" Tails was relieved to see the blue hero up finally. He let his eyes linger on Sonic a little longer, trying to determine the level of strangeness of blue hero's behavior. He seemed as his usual upbeat self... "Take a seat! I'm almost finished with the breakfast."

"Whoa! Both pancakes and chili-dogs for breakfast? What's the occasion?" Sonic asked, a big grin on his face as he put some of the food on his plate.

"Uh—No reason." Tails just shrugged his shoulders, quite caught of guard by the other. Sonic wasn't really acting out of the usual. Maybe it had been just some kind of phase...?

Sonic send a curious look Tails' way but didn't question his answer. Tails flipped the last pancake onto a plate and then sat down at the kitchen table across Sonic.

The two ate in silence. Nothing unusual about that. Breakfasts were always silent in their household. Though from time to time, Tails would steal a glance at Sonic, searching for any signs of strange behavior he might have missed.

Sonic pretended for the first five minutes that he didn't notice Tails' staring but when the glances continued, he spoke up. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

Tails frowned internally but outwards he didn't let it show. He should be the one asking this question here. "Everything is fine. What about you?"

"Hm...Nothing unusual." Sonic shrugged his shoulders, trying to not think about the dull feeling in his chest—it wasn't like Tails could do anything about that anyway.

Tails frowned. He knew his brother was keeping something from him. "Sonic—"

"Guess who's here~!"

The duo both stared in surprise at Amy, who had just entered the kitchen, neither of them sure how she had managed to get past the locked main door.

"Oh. Hi, Ames," Sonic started, still unsure what to make of her sudden appearance. "...Do you need something?"

"No~!" she singsonged, giggling. "I just wanted to see my Sonikku!" she declared before she hugged 'her Sonikku' tightly, even going as far as planting a kiss on his cheek.

For once, Sonic didn't try to avoid her affectionate gestures like he usually would. Instead her looked her over, an idea suddenly appearing in his head.

"Huh? What are you looking at?" However, Amy clearly mistook his staring for a bad sign. "Is there something on my dress?"

The pink heroine immediately started to search her dress for stains, but a soft touch on her shoulder from Sonic made her stop her frantic search. "Calm down, Amy. There isn't anything on your dress. I was just admiring how beautiful you look today."

The sound of Tails' jaw hitting a ground could be heard across the multiverse.

On the other hand, Amy just turned slightly redder in the cheeks and waved her hand in the 'oh, _you_ ,' gesture.

"I'm serious, Amy!" Sonic stood up, gesturing wildly. "You look dashing today!"

Tails's jaw hit the ground once again as he stared in utter bewilderment at his male friend. Sonic never complimented Amy's look without the threat of her hammer looming above his head! And now he did it twice in a span of ten seconds! Was he dreaming?

"Oh, Sonikku!" Amy laughed, latching onto her hero's arm. "How romantic of you!"

Sonic chuckled as he curled his arm around Amy's waist, bringing her closer to him. "Such a beautiful lady deserves thousands of compliments."

The young fox continued to stare at the two hedgehogs, wondering what on Mobius was happening—something was definitely wrong with Sonic. But what?

Tails frantically searched his mind for an answer or at least some kind of clue what it might be. But he came up blank.

"—On a date?!" Tails was harshly brought into reality by Amy, who was now hoping excitedly. "A date with my Sonikku! Of course! Of course!"

 _A date? Sonic's invited Amy on a_ _ **date**_ _?!_ The young genius was struck speechless, his mind just not able to form even a simple sentence, and so he could only stare as the duo waved him goodbye and then how they promptly left the house to go on their date.

Tails stared in confusion at the spot where the two hedgehogs had stood just moments ago.

What in the name of Chaos had just happened?

* * *

 **AN: Reviews are deeply appreciated!**


	2. Bitter Truth

**Chapter 2: Bitter Truth**

"And then—" Amy continued excitedly telling her story as they walked down the busy street, her arm hooked with Sonic's arm. The blue hero would occasionally nod and say 'Oh, really?' to show he was listening.

Sonic felt a little bad for deceiving Amy like this. He had assumed that a date with Amy could help him focus on different things that weren't his emotional problems but it seemed the pink female was getting too excited about their date. The blue hero knew it was quite cruel getting her hopes up like this. He didn't feel about her the same way she felt about him.

However, he had to admit that the date with Amy was quite...enjoyable, so far. They had been to a restaurant, watched a movie in a cinema and now Amy wanted to go shopping. Sonic _wasn't_ really fond of this activity as he considered it tiresome; anytime he needed to go shopping he'd just go into the first store he bumped into, find the correct size of either gloves or socks—depending on what he needed at that moment—and just buy a bunch of them. However, he wanted Amy to have a great time so if she wanted to go shopping then so be it.

She deserved to have a good day for being used like this.

"Here we are!" Amy announced as she dragged him into a giant clothing store.

Sonic immediately began to look around curiously. The store was packed with clothes, both female and male, for adults and kids alike. But despite the store's size, there was surprisingly little people around. There were two cashiers, a group of teenage girls—who were now whispering among themselves and pointing at them, obviously having recognized them—and the last people were two guys, who, from the looks of it, seemed to be looking for suits.

"Let's go take a look at some dresses first!" Amy decided, dragging him towards the female section of the store.

She let go of his hand once they arrived at the dress section, her eyes shining up the moment she laid them on all the beautiful dresses.

The next few minutes were spend by Amy going on search for dresses she could like and anytime some dress caught her eye she would take it and ask Sonic what he thought of it. The blue hero would most of the time just say something along the lines 'That one seems good,' or 'No, not that one,' and 'I like the darker one,' anytime she presented him with two almost identical dresses just of a different shade. It wasn't exactly a mentally stimulating activity but it did keep his mind occupied.

However, the moment Amy left for the changing room to try on one of the many dresses, Sonic was left alone with nothing to distract his mind. He tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the pink female to emerge from the room. It took her literally _forever_ to change from one dress into another...

"This one is perfect!"

The blue hero turned curiously towards the voice and saw one of the guys from earlier dressed in a simple black suit with a frown on his face. On the other hand, the second guy was smiling widely and looking quite pleased. "What's up with that look? Trust me! You look ravishing in that suit!"

Sonic raised an eye-ridge at the other's word choice. _Ravishing?_

The guy in a suit, a dark wolf, scowled even more, fiddling with his sleeves. "I'm still not sure about this."

The other guy, a golden dog, laughed. "Don't worry about it so much! You look amazing!"

The wolf sighed. "I just want to make a good first impression..."

"Don't worry about it so much, sweetie! My parents are going to love you," the dog answered and then gave a fast peck on the lips to the wolf.

Sonic immediately turned away from the affectionate duo, a stabbing feeling in his heart once again. Just his luck he would run into a gay couple...

 _A warm breath ghosted over his neck. "Envious?"_

 _Sharply, Sonic turned towards the voice and was surprised to find Shadow standing here. "When did you get here?"_

 _"Just a minute ago." The agent shrugged his shoulders. "But back to the matter at hand..."_

 _The blue hero suddenly found himself pressed closer to his dark rival, a small smile gracing Shadow's lips. "There's no need to be envious of other people. I'm more than willing to kiss you anytime..."_

 _And then Shadow leaned closer, their lips brushing together—_

"—Sonic! Mobius to Sonic!"

Sonic blinked, confused as he returned back from his day-dreaming, for a moment having a trouble to recognize the person standing before him. "Oh, Sorry, Ames. I've...I've spaced out a little."

"Yeah, you have..." The heroine shot him a disapproving look but just a second later there was a big smile on her face. "But anyway—What do you think of this dress?" she asked, making an elegant spin to show off how the dress looked from all sides.

"It looks..." Sonic took a moment to examine the dress until stating his opinion. "Great!"

"Oh, really? I'm glad you like it!" Amy smiled and then planted a kiss on the blue hero's cheek. "I'm going to try another one!"

"Take your time!" Sonic shouted after her, a small smile on his face as his eyes followed the pink hedgehog. Amy looked so happy...

-O-

It was about two hours later that Sonic found himself walking Amy home, the pink heroine happily swinging their connected hands, both of them carrying a portion of Amy's bags in the other hand. The city was bathed in a golden light of the setting sun, giving the place a nice romantic atmosphere. This would seem like a perfect ending to a perfect date...

And the same thought one certain girl.

"Isn't it romantic, Sonic?" Amy asked, a big smile on her face.

"Yeah..." the blue hero answered, trying not to think about how Amy's hold on his hand felt somehow wrong. Her grip was too soft...

 _The grip on his hand tightened, the hand of his companion feeling more muscular and not as delicate suddenly. Definitely not a female hand..._

 _Sonic frowned in confusion as he turned to his side, surprised to see Shadow walking there._

 _Feeling he was being watched, the agent turned to look his way, the crimson eyes sparkling with a hints of curiosity. "What's up with that expression?"_

 _"I...uh...it's nothing," Sonic answered, looking away from the other._

 _"Are you sure?" Shadow asked, giving his hand a small reassuring squeeze._

 _Sonic let a small smile grace his lips. "Yeah, it's alright now."_

"Sonic! You're doing it again!"

"Uh? What?" said hedgehog asked in confusion, stopping in his tracks.

Amy was looking at him with a look of disapproval once again, her hands on her hips. "You're spacing out again!"

"Sorry, Amy...I was just thinking..." Sonic answered, trying to get the image of Shadow out of his head.

Amy frowned, looking somehow worried. "Are you sure?"

 _The question brought Shadow in Amy's place again. "Are you sure?"_

Sonic pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing the image of Shadow into the back of his mind again. "Yes. Don't worry about me."

Amy didn't seem convinced but she didn't question him more and instead hooked her arm with his blue one, resuming walking. "Well, if you say so..."

-O-

"It was a really nice date. Thank you, Sonic." Amy smiled at the blue hero from her door-step, not making any move to get into her house, obviously waiting for the good-night kiss she expected to come.

However, Sonic didn't seem like he planned on moving from his spot a few feet away from her. "Yeah, well, you're welcome! Good night, Amy!" Sonic turned to walk away, but a loud "Wait!" from Amy stopped him in his tracks.

She rushed to his side, a big smile on her face. "You forgot your good-night kiss, silly!"

"A g-good-night kiss?" The blue hero gulped heavily, making a step back. He had to get out of this somehow...

He desperately looked around, trying to come up with a reason for which he would have to leave; he really didn't want to continue this charade anymore but he didn't want to break Amy's heart either...

Amy smiled widely as she nodded, thinking his nervosity was just shyness. The pink female slowly cupped his cheeks with her hands and then slowly closed her eyes as she leaned closer to him.

Sonic could feel his heart hammering in his chest as Amy's lips were getting closer to his.

 _No! This was wrong!_

Sonic's hands came up to grip on her shoulders, pushing her away from him. Amy snapped her eyes open, clearly confused by his reaction.

"S-Sonic? Is something wrong?"

Sonic took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Amy. But...I don't really feel the same way..."

The girl just stared at him for a moment, processing what she was just told. And then her lips turned into a frown. "What? But our date—!"

"Sorry, Ames..." was all Sonic said. Telling Amy the truth would hurt her more than just this...

Tears started to roll down Amy's cheeks and suppressed sobs shook her frame. She only stood there for a moment staring at the ground but then her hot-tempered nature took over again and—

A surprised yelp left Sonic as he was send stumbling a few steps back, his hand coming up to cover his left cheek that had just been slapped.

"That's for playing with my HEART!" Amy yelled and then she ran, crying, back into her house, slamming the door shut after herself.

Sonic's gaze slipped from the door to his feet. As he stared at the ground, with a red imprint of Amy's hand slowly forming on his cheek, he thought only one thing.

He _definitely_ deserved that.


	3. Sour Reality

**Chapter 3: Sour Reality**

"Hey, Sonic! How did the da—Sweet Chaos! What happened to your face?!" Tails stared in horror at the blue hero whose face was now brightly red in the place where Amy had slapped him—Sonic really wouldn't be surprised if it left a bruise.

The blue hero shrugged his shoulders as he headed for the kitchen to get something cold for his stinging cheek. "I've told Amy how I really feel about her."

"I'm not really sure what your feelings for her are anymore..." Tails responded, referring to the strange morning.

Sonic sighed as he took a bag of frozen vegetable from the freezer and then pressed it to his face. "Not romantically interested..."

"And you considered that taking her on a date before telling her _that_ was a good idea?" Tails asked with raised eye-ridge, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I wasn't really thinking back then..." Sonic responded, the pain in his cheek that was slowly changing to a numb feeling reminding him of this fact...

"Sonic..." Tails walked over to him and then took hold of his hand. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," Sonic answered automatically, drawing his hand away from the fox, who immediately frowned at the action.

"Then why are you shying away?

The blue hero chuckled as he ruffled Tails' head fur. "Tails, really, I'm _okay_."

"We're family, Sonic," the other reminded him, "and in family people help each other."

Sonic sighed as he placed the bag on the kitchen table and then stood up. "I know that, buddy. But there really isn't anything I need a help with—I'm going to bed now, alright?"

Sonic was almost out of the kitchen already when Tails spoke up again. "You don't smile anymore."

The blue hero turned around, grinning widely to prove that wasn't true. "What are you talking about? I'm smiling right now!"

"Not sincerely."

Sonic sighed as he let his false smile drop. Tails wouldn't stop until he admitted it, would he? "I just...had a lot on my mind lately."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tails asked, genuinely interested.

Sonic just shook his head. "I just need to think about it some more..."

"Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me!" Tails answered, happy that Sonic was finally honest with him.

Well, partly at least.

"Sure thing! I'll go to bed now," Sonic responded and after a short "Good night," from Tails he did exactly as he had said.

-O-

 _"Where did you get that?" Shadow asked, softly touching the dark bruise on Sonic's face._

 _Sonic flinched away from the touch as he covered the mark with his hand, feeling ashamed of it for a reason he couldn't explain. "I told Amy I don't feel about her the same way she feels about me."_

 _"And she hit you just because of that?" the dark hedgehog asked, a low growling sound accompanying the question._

 _"I can take a hit. No worries, Shads," the blue hero chuckled, feeling the slap wasn't just for his confession but rather something else he had done but couldn't remember now no matter how hard he tried..._

 _"I don't approve you getting hurt just for being honest..." There was a look of intense disapproval on Shadow's face now._

 _Sonic just shrugged his shoulders. "Amy has always been kinda hot-headed. She will probably apologize once she's calmed down..."_

 _"If she doesn't—"_

 _"Just leave it be, Shadow," Sonic interrupted him before the dark hedgehog could start promising any kind of revenge. Most likely one of the violent kind._

 _Shadow didn't seem to like this idea a one bit, but he agreed nonetheless. "Fine."_

 _Sonic smiled. "Good." The blue hero patted the spot next to him on a bed. "Wanna join me now?"_

 _His dark counterpart looked at him and then at the spot, considering his offer for a moment. "Well, if you want me to..."_

 _Shadow took off all his clothing, leaving only the inhibitor rings on, and then climbed into the bed next to Sonic, embracing the blue hero once he was settled in._

 _Sonic switched off the night-lamp on his bedside table, causing the room to fall into darkness._

 _"You better not snore," Shadow warned, earning himself an offended look from Sonic with the comment._

 _"I don't snore, mind you."_

 _"And how would you know?" the dark hedgehog asked him, teasing._

 _Sonic frowned. Shadow had a good point..._

 _The dark agent smirked. "I guess that's one point for me."_

 _"Shut up," Sonic grumbled as he buried his face into his bed-companion's chest fur._

 _"Make me," Shadow challenged him, smirking._

 _The blue hero propped himself up on his elbows, smiling mischievously as he hovered over his rival. "Some particular method you have in mind?"_

 _"Actually, yes," the dark agent responded as he placed his glove-less hand on the back of Sonic's neck, applying pressure to force Sonic's head lower so their lips could meet, the blue hero instinctively closing his eyes and waited for the kiss—_

—that never came.

Sonic frowned when he couldn't feel any lips meeting his. He slowly opened his eyes, his brows furrowing in confusion when his vision was filled with the familiar sight of his ceiling. Why was he suddenly on his back? And wasn't it dark just a moment ago? And where the—? _Oh..._ The realization dawned on Sonic in that instant, his expression changing from confusion to disappointment. _That must have been another dream..._

The blue hero covered his eyes, groaning. What was with all these dreams and day-dreams about Shadow? Why was his mind torturing him with all these perfect scenarios?! He couldn't be with Shadow!

...He couldn't be with Shadow...

Sonic gritted his teeth, feeling he was close to crying again as he realized that this was the exact reason why it kept happening.

His mind was just giving him what he wanted...

To be with Shadow...

He rolled over on his stomach, firmly holding a pillow to his mouth so his agonized and angry scream that followed a moment later couldn't be heard by Tails. He only stopped screaming once no more air remained in his lungs.

Sonic sighed tiredly as he finally let the tears escape his eyes, letting them stream down his face while he sobbed quietly into his pillow.

 _Stupid heart! Stupid feelings! Stupid Shadow!_

He continued to just lie in his bed, unmoving, tears rolling down his cheeks like a never-ending waterfall until suddenly—

"Sonic?" A familiar childish voice sounded from the door to his room. Thankfully, he had his back turned to the door so Tails couldn't see his crying face.

Sonic dried his tears fast with the back of his hand, taking a deep breath to steady himself. Then he sat up, turning to look at his friend with a smile on his face. "Hey! Good morning, Tails!"

However, Tails didn't respond with a "Good morning," of his own, neither did he return the smile. The kid just silently walked over to his bed side and just stood for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face.

Then Tails frowned and crossed his arms which Sonic knew never meant anything good for him.

Sonic knew this posture. It meant 'I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is wrong'. He had seen it only twice in his short life but it was undoubtedly the same posture.

"Sonic, what is wrong? And 'nothing' is not an acceptable answer," Tails said, looking at him with the utmost seriousness.

The blue hero raised his brow questioningly. "What gave you idea that anything is wrong, Tails? Everything is fine." Sonic smiled, hoping the young fox would believe him. But the action just made Tails frown even more.

"You were crying," Tails pointed out.

Sonic just waved his hand. "Something got into my eye."

"And you couldn't get it out for three minutes straight?" Tails asked, raising a brow.

Sonic's smile morphed into a thin line, his expression neutral. "How long have you been standing at the door?"

"Long enough to know something is very wrong," Tails responded, uncrossing his arms in process. Then he sighed and his frown was once more replaced by a worried expression. "Sonic, please! I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong!"

"Tails, I...You..." Sonic sighed. He didn't want to lie to his best friend, but he didn't want to share his problems with him either. He was the older brother! He should be helping Tails! Not the other way around...

"Just give me the chance to help, Sonic!" Tails said, eager to help anyhow he could. "Maybe we'll figure something out together!"

Sonic looked at the younger fox, his guts twisting painfully at seeing how much Tails wanted to help him. He really made Tails worry a lot...

Maybe he really should tell him...

"...I...I li—love somebody...," the blue hero stumbled over his words for a moment as he was not sure if to use 'like' or 'love', in the end deciding love was more accurate.

Tails kept silent, listening to what the other had to say. Sonic took a deep breath. "But..."

" _She_ hates me..." Sonic said, using 'she' on purpose. He didn't want Tails to figure out who he was talking about. "There's no chance we would ever get together."

He glanced at Tails, when the other didn't react anyhow Sonic continued.

"But it really upsets me. And I have this horrible feeling of being stabbed in my heart anytime I think about her," Sonic explained, placing a hand over his heart to emphasize his point. "But no matter how hard I try not to think about her, I just can't stop thinking about her..."

The blue hero fell silent, looking down into his lap, waiting for Tails' reaction. The inventor scratched his head nervously. "And are you absolutely sure there is no chan—?"

" _Yes_."

Tails was little taken aback by a such firm answer from Sonic but he regained his composure fast. "And the date with Amy?"

"I hoped it would help me focus on different things than him—er—I mean her..." Sonic cursed internally. Such a slip up!

 _Him?_ Tails frowned as he noticed the strange slip up, but didn't question it. "Do I know her?"

"No," Sonic answered fast. Maybe a little too fast...

Tails watched the blue hero intently, noticing how Sonic nervously started to fiddle with his blanket with his left hand. Sonic fiddled with things only when he was lying. Which meant Sonic wasn't telling him the truth. Or at least not the full truth.

"Is there a particular reason why the girl hates you?" Tails asked, in his mind already preparing list of all people he knew that hated Sonic. His brother might had said he doesn't know the person but Tails was sure Sonic was lying about that part. His brother probably just didn't want him to try playing a matchmaker or something like that.

"I think she finds me annoying," Sonic answered truthfully, believing that was the biggest problem Shadow had with him. He was called 'annoying' by the dark hedgehog more times than he could count.

Tails nodded to show he was listening while secretly trying to figure out who could it possibly be out of his list. If it really was a girl like Sonic insisted...maybe Wave? But she and Sonic didn't ever interact that much... "What exactly does she find annoying?"

The blue sighed as he looked into his lap. "My whole being basically..." he responded, recalling a few of Shadow's latest comments.

 _"You always have to be so freaking positive, don't you?!" "You just can't shut up for a moment, can you?!" "Just finally stop bothering me, hedgehog!"_

Tails tapped his chin thoughtfully. A person that finds Sonic unbelievably annoying... He didn't really know about any girl that would consider Sonic so annoying. But there were lot of guys that found Sonic annoying. And the blue hero insisted that the person hated him at the same time which shortened the list a lot...

And it probably was a someone that Sonic saw quite often...

"...It's Shadow, isn't it?"

Based on the completely surprised expression which appeared on Sonic's face just a moment later, it was clear to Tails that he had just hit a jackpot.

"What?! No! I told you that it's a girl...!" the blue hero insisted but the look which Tails shot him at the very moment those words left his mouth clearly told him that he had lost this battle before he could even start fighting.

"Why are you lying, Sonic?" Tails asked, feeling hurt that his best friend was openly lying to him.

"I'm not-...I..." Sonic could feel how his throat went dry at seeing the hurt expression on Tails' face. He turned his gaze away from the fox's face, not able to look the other into his sky blue eyes. "...I..."

"Sonic, I have known you long enough to know you're not interested in girls. You might not realize it but your eyes wander a lot..." Tails said, his remark causing Sonic to raise an brow.

"...really?"

Tails nodded. "Really. I actually had to stop Knuckles from picking up a fight with you a few times as he thought you were trying to mock him silently."

The blue hero could feel his cheeks heat up. So, that was the reason for Knuckles' mood swings anytime he was around. "Oh..."

Tails looked at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck tiredly. "It made me really worried seeing you being so lifeless for so long, you know? Why haven't you told me earlier?"

Tails raised his gaze which caused Sonic to look back into his lap as he didn't really feel strong enough to look into Tails' eyes at the moment. "I hoped the feelings will just go away on their own..."

He could feel how the smaller Mobian put his arms around him, making Sonic feel just like after his very first fight with Eggman's robots when he had been still a child. He had been so weak, so scared, so desperately wishing for comfort...

"We'll figure something out," Tails promised.

Sonic believed him.


	4. Salty Tears

**Chapter 4: Salty Tears**

Sonic could feel the warm sun rays on his skin, the soft grass under him and the gentle breeze that washed over him from time to time. The scent of flowers, which were around him, filling his nose, the calming scent immediately making his body relax.

The blue hero lay still, except his ears which twitched from time to time as they caught the sound of various birds singing their cheerful melodies.

It was a beautiful day.

The hero of Mobius let a content sigh escape him, a small smile forming on his face not long after. He loved sun-bathing, it always filled him with energy and this strange feeling of serenity in his body. And the outskirts of Apatos were great for this activity! There were so many great spots to just lie in the sun and enjoy the moment.

Sonic wondered if Tails was having such a great time as him. Tails had said he would take a look at the sights that Apatos had to offer, Sonic not tagging along as he had seen all of them during his mission of putting the world back together after it had been blown apart by Dr. Eggman. The whole idea of going on a trip to Apatos came from Tails' head as he had presumed it would be great way of making his best friend forget his troubles at least for a moment.

And Sonic had to admit that Tails was right, he was feeling much better than at any point in these past few weeks and the thoughts about his dark rival weren't plaguing his mind anymore. And no weird day-dreams were happening either! So, yeah it was working perfectly.

"What are you doing here?"

Or maybe not...

Sonic opened his eyes, utterly confused as he looked to his left from which the familiar deep voice with slightly irritated undertone sounded.

It was Shadow.

The blue hero blinked in confusion. His mind had to be playing tricks on him again, because there was no way Shadow would be nowhere near Apatos at the moment as the whole Team Dark was supposed to be somewhere in Holoska spoiling Egghead's new plan on the world domination—and Shadow surely wouldn't just randomly make a trip to Apatos as the dark hedgehog absolutely hated being in the tropical climate.

Well, it made sense—when you took the high temperatures and the mostly sunny weather into account; it surely was pure torture to stay in such environment for anyone with dark fur...

After taking these facts into consideration Sonic came to the conclusion that this had to be another of his day-dreams. The blue hero took one last look at his rival before closing his eyes, deciding to ignore the hedgehog that he had assumed was just a product of his imagination. He refused to allow his mind to make him feel miserable again. The 'fantasy' would surely go away if he ignored it long enough.

"I asked you a question, hedgehog," the 'imaginary' hedgehog spoke again, his tone clearly showing the other was getting more irritated with each passed second.

Sonic just decided to keep silent, hoping his traitorous imagination would get the hint he was not in the mood to deal with the imaginary version of Shadow.

He could hear low growling sound coming from his left. It seemed his 'fantasy' had as little patience as the real deal.

A soft sound of footsteps reached Sonic's ears before he was unexpectedly seized by his chest fur, the action causing him to yelp as he hadn't anticipated the pang of pain that felt strangely real. Green eyes snapped open just as he was lifted off the ground, now staring into the furious crimson orbs of the dark hedgehog. "Stop ignoring me!"

 _Whoa, my imagination is getting pretty good at making my fantasies seem real,_ Sonic internally commented as he stared at the person before him, the idea that the other hedgehog might _not_ actually be a product of his imagination not really passing through his head even now.

The blue hero lazily crossed his arms over his chest, looking bored as he just limply hanged from the other's hand. "You need something?"

The dark hedgehog's eye started to twitch, Sonic's phlegmatic behavior obviously getting onto his nerves more and more. "Quit that attitude, faker, and answer my goddamn question!"

Sonic raised a brow in question. "And why should I do that?"

"Because if you don't, I'm going to get the answer out of you by force," Shadow warned him, his tone clearly showing he was not joking around.

"Then go ahead. I'm not telling you anything," Sonic answered, hoping that getting beaten up by the 'imaginary' Shadow might change his feelings for the real Shadow too...

The dark hedgehog's angry expression changed to an utterly puzzled one. "...What?"

Sonic rolled his eyes. "You heard me. Go ahead! Beat me up!"

Shadow frowned, the tiniest amount of concern showing on his face. "Are you feeling well...?"

"Of course! I'm feeling absolutely marvelous!" Sonic half-shouted, prying the other's hand open so it wouldn't be painfully tugging his short chest-fur anymore, but causing himself to fall on his bottom as he hadn't been actually standing but instead had been kept somehow upright by Shadow.

The dark agent just stared in confusion at the hedgehog before him, not understanding what had gotten into the usually cheerful hero. "What's wrong, hedgehog?"

Sonic could feel his quills bristle at the question. _Here goes the imaginary caring Shadow again_. "Why the heck would you care?!"

"...I don't have to explain myself to you," the other responded, a scowl forming on his face.

"Then I don't have to either, do I?" the blue hero asked, crossing his arms over his chest to to give off the 'I am not telling you anything' vibe.

But, of course, Shadow wouldn't let himself be deterred by something like that. Thea gent just repeated his question, "What's wrong, hedgehog?"

"You being here for example," Sonic replied, his usually big smile now replaced with a frown that just didn't seem to fit Sonic's face.

"Excuse me?" There was a clear confusion on Shadow's face now.

"Seriously, you randomly popping out of my imagination is just causing me all kinds of trouble," Sonic said as he looked around the meadow they were in, missing the completely bewildered expression of the other due to that. "I really need you to stop doing that."

"Your imagination? You seem to have hit your head somewhere pretty hard because I am _real_!" Shadow insisted, which just earned him a snort from the the other hedgehog.

"That's what all hallucinations say."

The dark hedgehog sighed, shaking his head. "I'm taking you to a doctor." And then he reached for the blue hero.

Sonic immediately got up, slapping the other's hand away in the process. "I'm not going anywhere with you!"

A scowl returned to Shadow's face. "I'm doing this for your own good, hedgehog!" And then he attempted to grab the blue hero again.

Sonic made a step back to avoid the other's hand. "If you really _care_ about my good, then just leave me alone finally!"

"Sonic, you're not thinking straight," the dark agent said, making a step closer and extending his arm to get hold of his blue counterpart.

The blue hero was stunned. _He just called me Sonic. Not hedgehog, not faker, but Sonic..._

The real Shadow never called him by his name.

And it felt...amazing...

 _Mind, why are you doing this to me?_

"Just leave me alone..." The blue hero shied away one more time, his eyes moving to stare at the ground, his ears flattening against his head, his whole body-posture drastically changing. "Please..."

Shadow froze for a moment as he couldn't understand why did the hedgehog in front of him looked so _frightened_ suddenly. "Sonic...?"

"Please..." Sonic begged the other again as he sank to the ground, putting his arms around himself in a protective manner. "Just go away..."

There was a silence. There was no sound that would suggest that Shadow was still there nor a sound that would suggest that the dark agent was leaving. Or maybe his mind decided to finally stop torturing him and made Shadow disappear...

But Sonic was too afraid to look up and see for himself what was the case.

Then, without any warning, there was the unmistakable weight of a hand being placed on his shoulder, the action causing Sonic's heart to skip a beat...

 _Please, don't be Shadow. Please, don't be Shadow. Please—_

"Look at me."

 _Dammit!_ Sonic's fingers painfully dig into his own shoulders as Sonic tried to keep himself from succumbing to his emotions which the dark agent's presence was causing him.

"Look at me," Shadow demanded again. However, even this time Sonic didn't react as he was ordered. He just continued to sit there, still hoping the other might disappear if he didn't talk to him. There wasn't really high chance of that happening, considering what had happened the first time he used this tactic, but it was worth a shot.

" _Sonic_ , look at me," the dark agent said, this time earning himself a reaction thanks to using the other's name.

Sonic's head snapped up, his green eyes locking with the red eyes of Shadow, who was now kneeling before him. The dark agent's gloved hands immediately moved to the other's face, holding the hero's head in place so Sonic couldn't look away now when Shadow had his attention.

"Listen to me, hedgehog. I am here. I am real. And I want to _help_ you," Shadow said, giving emphasis to certain words to ensure Sonic would get the message. "Just tell me what is wrong and I'll do everything in my power to help you. Okay?"

"...You are not real," Sonic insisted as this entire situation felt just absurd to him. The real Shadow wouldn't _bother_ with helping him.

"Okay, let's start with that," the dark hedgehog sighed somehow tiredly. "I am real and I am willing to prove it any way you deem fitting."

The blue hero stared at the other hedgehog before him for a long time and even though this person looked exactly like Shadow in his opinion there was just no way for it to be the _real_ Shadow.

Because Shadow didn't care about him.

Because Shadow didn't call him by his name.

Because Shadow wouldn't willingly spend more time around him than necessary.

And so Sonic did the only thing that seemed reasonable to him at the moment. The very action that had always made his fantasies disappear.

He kissed Shadow.

-O-

 _Just run._

That was the only thought on Sonic's entire mind. He needed to run.

He needed to escape.

 _Just run._

His lungs were burning, his legs were aching, his vision was blurred by tears.

However, there was no time to pay any attention to either of those things.

Because he needed to get away.

 _Just run._

His legs felt like lead now, his throat was constricting, he was starting to feel light-headed.

Nevertheless, he still refused to stop.

 _Just run._

A few yards ahead on the road, which the blue hero had chosen to follow, was a small stone poking out from the ground, just waiting for its chance to make someone trip over it. It could be very easily avoided if one paid the slightest of attention to their way. However, due to his panicked state Sonic failed to notice the stone.

The blue speedster screamed in alarm and pain as his foot hit the stone, the action sending him flying due to the crazy speed at what he was moving just a split of second before. Sonic could feel a new wave of panic wash over him as he found himself airborne, the blue and peach body instinctively curling into a protective ball of spikes just moment later. It was hardly enough to protect him from the painful landing that was sure to follow, but it surely would be enough to protect himself from getting all of his bones broken.

It were four dreadful seconds before his body finally hit the ground.

And at that very moment Sonic's world exploded with pain.

The blue hero opened his mouth in a silent scream of agony as the wind had been knocked out of him upon the impact. He immediately uncurled his body, gasping for air that just refused to enter his lungs. However, after three more attempts he finally succeeded. His breathing was heavy and fast as his body tried to recover from what it just had had to endure because of its owner.

For the next few minutes Sonic just continued to lay on the spot where he had landed as his entire body was completely drained off energy that had been consumed on his mad escape from Shadow.

He closed his eyes tiredly, not really caring he was in the middle of nowhere. His entire body ached. Especially his right foot that had been so unfortunate to hit the rock over which he had tripped. His toes were probably broken due to the impact as he had been running at his top speed when that happened.

His head also hurt like hell...

Sonic opened his eyes slowly, wondering how far from Apatos he might be now. He had no idea for how long he had been running but based on the sun's position it had to be hours. The sun was actually setting now, coloring the usually blue sky into shades of red and orange.

 _It's like on the date with Amy..._ Sonic noted, remembering the event which had taken place just two days ago vividly. He still felt extremely sorry for deceiving her.

The blue hero closed his eyes as the image of the reason why he had gone on a date with Amy in the first place flashed through his mind, followed by his newest memory of Shadow...

...

 _A fast peck on the lips, lasting no more than two seconds._

 _It should have been enough. The 'imaginary' hedgehog should have disappeared like those many times before._

 _Except he hadn't._

 _Shadow was still there, kneeling before him, staring at him with the most shocked look that Sonic had ever seen on the dark hedgehog's face. The blue hero could feel his stomach make a flip inside him at seeing that expression._

 _Why was Shadow still there?!_

 _Green eyes widened as the blue hero's mind came to the only logical conclusion on why his trick hadn't worked as usually. And that conclusion was this: The person before him was never his 'fantasy' in the first place._

 _Sonic could feel a wave of terror wash over him. Once Shadow snapped out of his shock he would undoubtedly proceed with beating the crap out of him or at least start shouting at him such profanities that would make even sailors blush._

 _And the blue hero definitely didn't want to be here when that happened._

...

Sonic was too afraid to face Shadow's reaction to the kiss, as many times in the past the dark hedgehog had made clear that he detested him, thus the blue hero ran away before Shadow could unleash his fury on him. Sonic knew he would have to talk about it with the dark agent one day but he sincerely hoped that wouldn't be anytime soon.

 _Yeah, in two or three years would be nice,_ Sonic thought, curling into a ball to keep himself warm at night as he couldn't do much else. Apatos was hours away. He felt so exhausted that he was pretty sure his legs wouldn't be even able to keep him standing, let alone walk who knows how many miles back. And even if he somehow managed to walk—then with his broken toes it would be one _hell_ of a painful walk back.

Sonic sighed, wondering what Tails could be doing right now. They had agreed on meeting at the hotel once the sun went down. Tails was probably already waiting there for him, worrying where he was. He didn't like to make Tails worry but he had no way of contacting his best-friend. He had left his communicator at their house as he had presumed he wouldn't need it on their vacation. Hopefully, Tails would come searching for him in the morning.

The blue hero closed his eyes, hoping sleep would come to him soon as his head was starting to hurt _really_ bad...


	5. Aftertaste

**Chapter 5: Aftertaste**

 _Sonic felt warm._

 _It wasn't the kind of uncomfortable warmth one might feel on a hot day. It was the pleasant warmth one would feel when being held by another person in a tight embrace. This realization, of course, made Sonic curious about why another person would be holding him when he had fallen asleep in the woods alone._

 _Blue eye-lids started to open slowly, the green eyes hidden under them getting revealed bit after bit._

 _The blue hero's vision was blurry so he could only make out a vague silhouette of the person that was holding him. Sonic blinked a few times to make his eyes focus, the silhouette slowly becoming a clear image of deeply concerned Shadow illuminated by a faint moon-light._

 _"Hedgehog, what the hell happened?!" the agent asked, one of his hands tracing the various bruises and scratches that Sonic had acquired in his recent accident while the other kept the blue hero's back supported._

 _"I've...trip..ped..." Sonic answered, hissing as Shadow touched one painful bruise at that very moment. The dark hedgehog immediately muttered a quiet "sorry", before moving the prodding hand to Sonic's face where it cupped his cheek softly like if the dark agent was afraid the gesture would hurt Sonic further._

 _"Does your head hurt?" the agent asked._

 _"Yeah..." the blue speedster mumbled. His head was pounding with pain, the sensation worse than when he went to sleep. However, with the soft touch of Shadow's hand on his cheek the pain wasn't so bad anymore..._

 _"Are you feeling dizzy?" Shadow continued with the questioning, his dark brows furrowed in worry._

 _"A little..." Sonic admitted, closing his eyes for a moment and then opening them again. He felt really sleepy suddenly..._

 _Shadow frowned at hearing this new information. "You might have a concussion. We better get you to the hospital immediately. "_

 _Sonic could feel how Shadow moved his hand away from his face and just a second later he could feel an arm being placed under his knees. Right after that he was picked up from the ground, his limp form lying in the dark hedgehog's arms._

 _Sonic let his head rest against his dark counterpart's chest, feeling the soft beating of the heart hidden inside it, the rhythmic sound just luring him into sleep..._

 _Sonic slowly closed his eyes, but Shadow's commanding voice that sounded just a moment later, made him snap them open again. "Sonic, you need to stay awake! It could end badly if you slept while having a concussion."_

 _"But I am sleepy..." Sonic protested weakly, raising his gaze to look at the other's face._

 _Shadow sighed tiredly. "I know. But, please, at least try..."_

 _"Alright..." the blue hero responded, using all his remaining will-power to keep his eyes open as Shadow broke into a run, his hold on the blue and peach body in his arms tightening with the growing speed as he tried to make his way to the nearest hospital as fast as possible._

 _But despite his efforts, green eyes still fell closed before the arrival to a hospital._

-O-

Waking up in an actual hospital surprised Sonic greatly.

He was sure this was not just another dream as there was this subtle unpointoutable feeling that just told him, 'you are awake'.

The blue hero sat up in his hospital bed, hissing in discomfort as the action made him pull his heavily strained muscles. He threw the blankets off himself to check how badly he was actually hurt.

There was significantly less bandages than after an ordinary big fight with Eggman's robots. However, his right foot was covered in a thick layer of gauze and bandage, confirming his suspicion of broken toes. He could also feel a pressure around his head and after touching it he could confirm that his head was, indeed, bandaged as well.

But his physical state was not the important matter at hand. No, the important matter was...

Who had brought him to the hospital in the first place?

In his dream it was Shadow, of course. But the chance of the real-world Shadow doing that was basically non-existent in Sonic's opinion. Firstly, he was pretty sure Shadow didn't want to see his face ever again after the kissing incident so Shadow would definitely not go searching for him. Secondly, even if he was wrong about the first point, there was no way of Shadow knowing where he had gone—even if the dark hedgehog would have followed right after him, Shadow just wouldn't be able to keep up with him as Sonic broke pretty much every speed record in his mad escape.

After taking these things into consideration, it was pretty much obvious Shadow just couldn't be the mysterious rescu—

"You finally woke up."

Sonic would have sworn his heart stopped at that very moment.

The blue hero turned his head _very_ slowly, not believing his ears to be hearing right until his eyes confirmed the identity of the speaker.

None other than Shadow the Hedgehog himself, in flesh and bone.

Sonic could feel every single muscle in his body tense up, his mind going into haywire as it tried to find a way how to escape this situation. However, there was only way out—the only door leading from the room, which was the dark hedgehog blocking with his own body at this very moment.

The blue hero gulped heavily, his heart hammering inside his chest as he watched the other hedgehog slowly approach him, the dark agent's face not betraying any emotion.

(If Dr. Eggman had decided to choose that exact same moment to destroy the planet with some another cosmic cannon he had found laying around, Sonic surely wouldn't have minded.)

Sonic could feel his gut twist painfully, his breathing quickening in anticipation as Shadow uncrossed his arms and opened his mouth to speak.

This was it.

The blue hero closed his eyes in a blind hope that it would make this horrible experience which was sure to follow more bearable.

"Does anything hurt you?"

"Huh?" Sonic snapped his eyes open, those green eyes filled with pure shock. He expected Shadow to say many things. This was not one of them.

Shadow didn't mock his unintelligent response like he usually would but instead only repeated his question. "Does anything hurt you?"

"...Nothing I couldn't handle," Sonic responded while pinching himself on the arm to ensure he really wasn't dreaming. However, the room and everything—and everyone—in it continued to stay absolutely the same.

Sonic furrowed his brows in confusion as he just couldn't wrap his head around the situation. If this wasn't a dream...Why the heck wasn't Shadow yelling at him yet?

"Good," the dark agent nodded his head. "The doctor said you'll—"

"Why are you here?"

Shadow looked slightly irritated at being interrupted so abruptly, but it took just one deep breath for him to calm down. "I brought you here, remember? You even talked to me."

The blue hero blinked in confusion. He was pretty sure that Shadow taking him to the hospital had been a dream as the Shadow in the 'dream' showed way more worry about his well-being than Shadow did in overall time they had known each other. But it was probably just his brain messing with him again, making him see things that weren't there... "That's not what I meant."

The agent raised an brow in question.

Sonic looked down into his lap, taking a deep breath. He just wanted to finally get to the inevitable conversation they were bound to have. "Why were you waiting for me to wake up?"

The dark agent sighed as he sat down in an empty chair, which was standing by Sonic's bedside, the other's current sitting position actually making Sonic feel a little bit less threatened than when Shadow was standing up.

But only a little bit.

Sonic raised his gaze to see Shadow's expression, their eyes locking. "What the hell was _that_?"

Shadow didn't need to specify what he meant by _that_ as both of them were perfectly aware what he meant. The way he phrased the question didn't really surprise Sonic either. However, the tone in which he had said it and his expression accompanying it were not how Sonic had imagined they would be.

Because Shadow didn't actually sound mad as Sonic expected him to be. He sounded just...confused. His expression was also just a perplexed one, no hint of anger whatsoever...

"...I..." But that didn't mean it was anyhow easier to answer the question. "...I kissed you..."

"Yes, I noticed." Shadow rolled his eyes. "But why?"

 _Because I wanted you to stop torturing me..._ was what went through Sonic's mind, but he didn't dare to voice it out. "I..."

"I..." Sonic let his gaze fall onto his lap again, not able to hold the eye-contact with the other any longer. "It's complicated..."

"I have plenty of time," the agent answered, his tone implying Sonic's not going to escape answering so easily.

Sonic took a handful of his blanket, his fist clenched so tightly his nails would have left bleeding marks in his hand if the thick layer of cloth wasn't there to prevent it from happening.

There was no way out. Shadow wouldn't leave without an answer. But if he told him the truth...

 _I'll be dead to him._ Sonic could feel his chest squeeze painfully, a bittersweet smile crawling its way to his face just a moment later. _Well...at least I won't have to worry about him accidentally finding out about my feelings anymore, right? Heh..._

Sonic let go of the blanket as he took a shaky breath, green eyes meeting red ones once again.

"I've been having these dreams about you and me being—" The hero gulped heavily. "— _together._ "

The only reaction that this statement induced from Shadow was almost unnoticeable widening of the other's crimson eyes. Sonic was sure he didn't want to know the emotion behind this reaction.

"Back when _that_ happened, I believed that you were just a product of my imagination as I've been having these dreams for a few days now and I kissed you because I wanted you to disappear—" Sonic confessed, looking away from Shadow. "I just couldn't bear interacting with the imaginary version of you anymore—the kind, caring you..."

Sonic could see from the corners of his eyes how all kinds of expressions flashed across Shadow's face before an expression of displeasure settled there.

"...the you that loved me back and made me feel special..." the blue speedster turned his head away, not wishing to see the disgusted expression on Shadow's face that he was sure would follow after this statement and thus missing the flash of genuine surprise on the other's face. "I just couldn't live that lie anymore...

"But dreaming like that helped me forget the fact you hate me at least for a moment..." Sonic confessed, snorting right after. "Heh, you must be disgusted by me now..."

After all, there wasn't anybody who wouldn't feel disgusted by knowing their hated enemy thought of them in such way, right?

However, Shadow did not say anything—thus not confirming nor denying Sonic's statement.

"So, now, when you have your answer..." Sonic felt tears starting to accumulate in the corners of his eyes at the thought that this was the end of the final conversation he would ever have with Shadow—because Shadow definitely wouldn't want to see his face ever again, let alone talk to him. " _Please_ , leave..." Sonic pleaded, a lone tear rolling down his cheek. "Just leave..."

Shadow seemed hesitant about fulfilling this request—and yet he still stood up and headed for the door as was asked of him.

However, right in front of the door the he halted for a moment, murmuring something that made Sonic's heart skip a beat right before quickly leaving the room.

"Shadow, wait!" Sonic immediately tried to get out of his bed, fighting for a moment with the bed sheets, in which his legs somehow had managed to get themselves hopelessly tangled in the last few minutes. However, in the end he managed to free himself and race to the door—quite a feat considering his injured foot. The blue hero opened the door hurriedly, hoping he would still be able to catch his dark counterpart to ask him about what he'd just said.

The door opened, revealing a hospital corridor filled with doctors, nurses, patients and visitors.

However, Shadow was not amongst them.

A suffocating feeling of uncertainty settled over Sonic, Shadow's murmured words echoing endlessly through his mind.

 _"You know, Sonic, you better stop making assumptions about me—they are always wrong."_

...What was that even supposed to mean?

* * *

 **AN: I regret nothing! *hides in the depths of the Internet***


	6. Umami

**AN: ...I'm just gonna leave this here.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Umami**

Shadow was confused. Probably not as much as Sonic was right now, but still.

Sonic loved him.

 _Sonic_ loved _him_.

Sonic the freaking Hedgehog _loved_ him.

Shadow felt as if his brain was short-circuiting, failing to comprehend just _how_ something like that could have happened. Was this some kind of cosmic joke that he didn't understand? How could Sonic, probably the most lovable person on the face of the planet, have taken liking in someone like _him_ , a bad-tempered antagonistic loner that for the most part had only ever traded punches and insults with him? It just didn't make sense to Shadow.

Just... _how_?

He had never been kind to Sonic; at best he was neutral—and only when the situation called for it—but majority of the time he undoubtedly spend being downright hostile to the hero. To this day, he doesn't really understand what had driven Sonic to keep coming back and trying to befriend him.

Sure, Sonic was _always_ offering olive branches left and right, but all Shadow had ever done with them was take them, break them in half and then even set them on fire to add salt to the injury. Why would Sonic _want_ to even associate with someone like him? Had Sonic truly believed that if he was being insistent enough that Shadow would change his tune eventually? He knew that Sonic was optimist through and through, but that...

 _Well, clearly not so much of an optimist at the moment,_ a voice in his mind pointed out, the miserable image of the bandaged-up hero he had seen just ten minutes ago flashing through his mind. A scowl marred Shadow's lips as he recalled the dejected slump of the blue shoulders and the odd emptiness that filled him when Sonic's voice came out void of its usual cheerfulness and instead filled with reluctant resignation.

Sonic thought he hated him..

Shadow wasn't sure why that one hit him as hard as it had. Why had he been surprised? Of course, Sonic would think that considering what the majority of their interactions looked like. But still...

Back before all of _this_ , Sonic had never seemed bothered by any of the many insults or comments Shadow kept throwing into his face, the hero coming back to him again and again to try to poke through his defenses and reach him, seemingly just brushing off the whole name-calling. It had never occurred to him that Sonic might not shake himself off from the experience like he'd always do with Dr. Eggman after a battle.

Though he supposed things like these were harder to just brush off when you had _feelings_ for the other person...

Shadow wondered. Would he have said the same things if he knew that Sonic actually took them to heart? Probably not...

He _hadn't_ meant for his word to actually _hurt_ Sonic, only to wound the hero's pride enough that Sonic would fight him. Anger was emotion that was most familiar to Shadow and so getting into shouting matches with Sonic was a way for him to get his mind off other things; when he'd finally regained back his memories he'd had a lot of time to self-reflect on his emotions and try to sort through his issues—which hadn't really gone well as he didn't really know how to handle it all—and when he'd actually taken up the Commander's offer to join GUN, the stress of his job just added fuel to that emotional turmoil.

However, then Sonic had come along, unknowingly offering him a let-out for all this build-up. Shadow knew he ought to have been more reasonable and not manipulating Sonic into distracting him from his his personal issues regardless of how _'harmless'_ it might have seemed to him...

He let out a bitter laugh. Was this how his whole life was going to be spend? Wrecking the life of others? Bringing misery where he goes? After all, all of this, could have been prevented if he let himself open up just the slightest, just _asked_ Sonic to help him distract himself with a fight instead of cowardly hiding behind his walls and throwing insults in Sonic's face in hope of getting the same result...

Red eyes glanced to the green gem that he still held in his hand, a reminder he had once more been a coward, opting to to flee before Sonic could even have a chance respond to what he had said instead of staying and offering Sonic the same honesty he had demanded from the hero—honesty that made Sonic confess his love for a person that he thought hated him...

Gloved hand curled tightly around the powerful gem in its grasp as Shadow considered his options of what to do now. Being honest himself was the smallest apology he could offer for forcing Sonic to literally _bare_ his heart to him and all the stuff he had put Sonic through. But that wouldn't do. There had to be something else...

-O-

Guests were a kind of rare thing to witness in the heroes' household. Considering the (to most people inconvenient) placement of their house at the edge of forest, far from any kind of civilization, they had a very few visits from their friends as most people counted on them to make their way to them instead.

Therefore, when somebody loudly knocked on their door early in the morning, Sonic was reasonably confused.

Sonic didn't particularly feel like playing a host right now and would rather have some time for himself after all that had transpired in the last few days. However, knowing Tails was most likely still dozing off after the long flight they had yesterday, he knew he couldn't count on his friend to do that and so he just pushed himself off the couch, grabbed the crutch and limped over to the door to greet the mysterious visitor, pondering who it could be; Tails promised not to tell anybody of his 'accident', so it definitely couldn't be Amy coming to take care of him in the meantime or something similar...

Then again, Amy probably wouldn't yet want to see him even if she knew he was injured...

Sighing, Sonic opened the door, not having expectations of who to expect to see on the other side. But despite having no expectations, it still somehow surprised him to see _Shadow_ standing there of all possible people.

A mixture of apprehension and curiosity twisted the hero's stomach as he took in the other's stiff body posture and the almost unnoticeable jitteriness of the gloved fingers tightly curled around black arms. The air felt tense but Shadow lacked his usual hostile aura, so Sonic took the liberty to scratch the option of the agent looking for a fight off the list of the possible reasons behind his visit.

Sonic felt a bit of his own tension melting off at that, but still he remained on guard, not knowing what to expect of the other.

"I was a total jerk," fell from the agent's lips just a moment later and it was enough to convince Sonic that he, indeed, had _absolutely_ no idea what to expect from Shadow anymore.

Then it struck him. "...I'm dreaming again, aren't I?" he voice aloud, considering that the most likely explanation; just because the imaginary Shadow had given himself a vacation after his run-in with the real deal, didn't mean he wouldn't come back at some point, right?

A frown marred Shadow's face at the hero's flippant disregard of his attempt at apology. "Do us both a favor and pinch yourself."

Sonic blinked in surprise. Shadow sounded annoyed. That was unusual for the imaginary Shad. Green eyes looked up the agent up and down once more, the hero even giving himself a small pinch on the arm. "...It is _you_ ," he said in the end when Shadow didn't actually dissolve into a thin air.

"Yes," Shadow hissed, clearly aggravated. But realizing how he had sounded, the agent forced himself to rein his anger in, his tone neutral as he added, "I've come here to talk."

"Talk?"

"Apologize, to be precise. For..." Shadow shifted uncomfortably on his feet, glancing away as he tried to formulate his thoughts. "...being a jerk and all that..."

"You've come here to _apologize_..." Sonic repeated, surprised green eyes watching as the other continued to awkwardly shift his body weight and red eyes barely meeting his, the display so different from the arrogant demeanor Shadow normally carried himself with.

Sonic pinched himself again to double check he really wasn't dreaming. But, nope, Shadow was still there.

Clearly taking his silence as a signal to proceed, Shadow started to explain, red eyes locking with Sonic's again. "I realize my behavior was...reprehensible. I was a jerk and treated you poor even though you did nothing wrong—I won't deny that." There was a pause. "However, I just wanted to say it was not out of malice towards you—I don't hate _you_ ," Shadow stressed. "...I hate myself."

"I..." Sonic was at loss of words; he had never been blind to Shadow's general dislike for people...but it never occurred to him that Shadow might included himself in the group. And it was not just that he dislike himself but _hate_ himself...and when you knew Shadow, you knew that he wasn't one to exaggerate...

"You weren't supposed to get caught in the crossfire of my misery. That was never my intention. I just... I..." Shadow paused, clearly trying to collect his scattered thoughts, dark brows furrowing and lips automatically twisting into a scowl when they continued to elude him. Sonic was sure the agent had rehearsed his speech before he came here—he was the type of person to do that—but the fact he was struggling now... Well, it very clearly said that Shadow was _genuinely_ trying to apologize. There wasn't the distant coldness and business like manner when you delivered a sorry you didn't really mean but instead wild emotions getting worse of you...

Nonetheless, that didn't mean he was going to forgive the agent right now on the spot. Even for someone like Sonic, it was impossible not to feel just a tiny bit of indignation for Shadow for having treated him so poorly for all this time. One apology was not going to erase history.

However, Sonic wasn't one to hold grudges—especially, not if the other person made genuine effort to make amends. If Shadow continued to work for his forgiveness, he would be willing to give it to him after some time. But the agent needed to work for that.

"—Fighting you was my way of coping with _things,_ " Shadow added finally and the way the red eyes flashed told Sonic that these 'things' encompassed _way_ more than just Shadow's hate for himself. Most likely the frustration with how the world had changed so drastically while he was in stasis...and that all the people he had once known were actually gone now...

A pang of sympathy twinged in Sonic's chest at the thought. Was that why Shadow was lashing out all the time? Because everything was just _wrong_ and there was no way for him to fix it...?

After all, it was easier to be angry than sad...

"In retrospect, I see it was a _spectacularly_ bad one." Shadow gave a dry _, empty_ laugh and Sonic felt that pang again when the crimson eyes met his. They had always seemed so intense when they burned with anger during their fights. Now they were just as intense but burned instead with sadness and regret. Though if you didn't look close enough you'd might mistake their look for the former.

Sonic wondered whether he might have mistaken that look sometime in the past.

Shadow took a deep breath, re-composing himself again. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I just figured I should set things straight and try to make up for I've done."

It was at this point that Shadow took out a a Chaos Emerald from his quills, the gem glowing faintly in his hand. Figuring the other planned to use it to teleport himself away, Sonic felt a bit offended at Shadow trying to cut his apology short, however it quickly changed to surprise when Shadow instead gestured to his bandaged-up leg.

"I can heal that for you if you want," the agent offered and even though he tried to hide it, it was obvious the hero's answer mattered to him.

However, Sonic himself was too excited for the news to really note that. "Wait, you can use a Chaos Emerald to heal my leg?" he asked to confirm he had understood right. Shadow nodded.

"Neat!" A grin spread across the peach's lips. He wouldn't have to wait weeks for it to heal!

A bit of the tension disappeared from Shadow's posture at his enthusiastic reaction, but the other's nervosity of the lack of 'no' or 'yes' from him was still quite obvious. Therefore, Sonic just said, "Well, I can't say 'no' to an offer like that, can I? Get right in!"

Then he gestured dramatically into the house. Shadow looked a bit surprised—At what, Sonic wasn't sure. Maybe that he was being friendly with him?—regardless the agent entered the house. Sonic closed the door and with the help of the crutch limped into the living room, Shadow trailing right behind him. Once there Shadow instructed him to sit on the sofa and prop his leg up on the low coffee table, which Sonic did. Shadow sat himself in an armchair so he wouldn't have to stand during the whole procedure.

Then Shadow explained to him what exactly he was going to do. It sounded pretty simple to Sonic but for whatever reason Shadow still seemed a bit tense as if he expected to be thrown out any second now.

Therefore, Sonic tried to elevate the atmosphere. Just as Shadow was about to start, he nudged the other, giving a friendly grin when the crimson eyes turned him. "What do you say to a race after we're done here?" he asked, wanting to show the other he wanted to associate with him even after they finished this—by once again offering an olive branch as he was known to do.

Shadow let out an exhale that bordered on a relieved sigh. When the red eyes met his again, they held a hint of an emotion Sonic had not seen in them before— _playfulness_.

"Well, I can't say 'no' to an offer like that, can I?" Shadow returned his words to him, tan lips twitching ever so slightly. Sonic felt his stomach do _things_ at that. He inconspicuously tried to pinch himself. Shadow stayed where he was.

Sonic let out a chuckle escape him. "You bet."


End file.
